What's in your hand?

A Cultivating Project essay on the theme of Assessment

Let’s imagine God is calling you or me to a work that feels beyond our capabilities, just for pretend. I have a bevy of excuses at the ready and you’re welcome to try them out: I’m so busy. I don’t have time. I’m tired. I’m not prepared enough/smart enough/old enough/young enough…Sorry, Lord—You’ve called me at a bad time.  

I’ve been re-reading a lot of old words I’ve written lately, trying to get my head wrapped back around a project I’ve left dormant for too long and evaluating my failure to progress. I am really trying to break myself of the habitual excuses, like I’m so busy or I don’t have time. Those are only half-truths, and I’ve found there are other reasons I’m not writing.

Currently, I am stuck and all my words sound like garbage to me as I read them, which makes it hard to move forward. I’m not working on this writing project because I’m playing lots of Solitaire and purging my closets. I’m taking long hikes, staring at moss, making random notes in my Notes app. I’m watching season three of All Creatures Great and Small.

I’m tired, aging, and changing. I’m stressed.

Some of these things are reasons for not writing, maybe some are the preparation and gathering stage of writing, and some are the results of avoiding the work.

You can read the rest of this essay at The Cultivating Project.

The Cultivating Project is a nurtured fellowship of Christian writers and makers committed to cultivating holy character, deep-rooted community, and excellence of craft. Together we offer a type of Pilgrim’s Inn through our publications, workshops, and products ~ each one made to inspire, strengthen, and give courage to our fellow sojourners. If you are drawn to Cultivating, it is likely that you are one of us. You are among kindred here. We are Cultivators