We don't need the internet to doomscroll

but a little shock and awe can snap us out of it

When I get overwhelmed I tend to worst-case-scenario things. I’ve always thought of myself as an optimist but I have a real tendency to limit the amount of goodness I think God can deliver: I count down the days until a vacation ends instead of enjoying the moments; I regret social commitments in anticipation of them; I pre-fail the meal I’m making for guests, just to ward off any high expectations.

A couple months ago I wrote an essay for Cultivating Magazine on the topic of merriment, which I interpret as whimsy and celebration, unexpected goodness, and joy in the face of whatever circumstances life is offering. I was having a real struggle the week I was working on my essay, mentally playing out several worst-cases and lowering my expectations all around. I was doomscrolling in my mind without any help from the internet.

Plowed Field by Caspar David Friedrich

The remedy for my mood was exactly what you would guess if you’ve been reading me for awhile—I took a walk. It turned out to be a pretty weird walk, one I still vividly remember, months later.

“If you’ve believed everything I’ve written up to this point, please stay with me for the next part. Please believe me when I tell you about the one wild thing I see on Wildcat Road on my walk, and remember that I’ve been saying all along that anything could happen.

In the twenty-nine years I have lived here I have seen cougars and bobcats and stray cats and coyotes. I know what is normal here. I know the animals. Which is why, when I see this animal, I have no category for it. My brain cannot work this thing into any kind of order or genus or species.”

The essay is available for you to read online in Cultivating Magazine, and the Wendell Berry poem I write about can be found here. I’m still working on memorizing it, and it’s so worth it.

Expect the end of the world. Laugh.

Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful

though you have considered all the facts.

~ Wendell Berry, Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front