Would you ask her what questions she wishes adults would ask her, in place of the dumb ones that put so much pressure on kids? I'm curious for better questions. Of course, if our typical "what are you doing next" questions don't bother her, I'd love to hear that, too ; ) Thanks Callie.
“'I am still every age that I have been,'1 and I want these young women to see how good that is, to see a layer of years as something to be cherished, not fought against or covered up."
I love thinking of the layers of our age...like rings on a tree. I often look in the mirror at my 62-year old face and try to remember what it looked like without wrinkles and sags. And I know my 12-year old, 18-year-old, 36-year-old (etc.) selves are all wrapped up in me, but I wouldn't want to be any of them again. I love 62. It fits me now.
"but there are so many other ways to be strong, other ways to grow mentally and spiritually and emotionally." yes, yes, yes. Brilliant as always, my friend.
PS my sis in law modeled well for me how to ask better questions of someone/anyone, no matter their age:
"what's it like to be ____________?" 13? the youngest in your family? in 8th grade? new to school? taking your first exam? getting engaged? Fill-in-the-blank. The question honors who the person is and communicates we want to listen.
Good for you Tresta, remembering who you were and who your players are in the now. It is stressful to be asked …what are your plans for the future?. They are already stressing over finals, sending applications , ordering graduation announcements, getting senior pictures done, and what kind of dress to look for to go to prom..and on and on.
"...to adults who don't know how to ask something better, like: What are you looking forward to this month? What are you worried about most? What are you passionate about right now, at 18?
Maybe adults don’t know how to let 18 year olds give small, short-term answers. Maybe we project our regrets, throwing back our should-haves onto the shoulders of the haven’t-yets."
Amen, Tresta. AMEN.
I need this for myself, and for my just turned 18-year-old. Thank you.
Would you ask her what questions she wishes adults would ask her, in place of the dumb ones that put so much pressure on kids? I'm curious for better questions. Of course, if our typical "what are you doing next" questions don't bother her, I'd love to hear that, too ; ) Thanks Callie.
Another beautifully written and thoughtful piece. Thank you.
“'I am still every age that I have been,'1 and I want these young women to see how good that is, to see a layer of years as something to be cherished, not fought against or covered up."
I love thinking of the layers of our age...like rings on a tree. I often look in the mirror at my 62-year old face and try to remember what it looked like without wrinkles and sags. And I know my 12-year old, 18-year-old, 36-year-old (etc.) selves are all wrapped up in me, but I wouldn't want to be any of them again. I love 62. It fits me now.
Thanks for the reminder.
"but there are so many other ways to be strong, other ways to grow mentally and spiritually and emotionally." yes, yes, yes. Brilliant as always, my friend.
PS my sis in law modeled well for me how to ask better questions of someone/anyone, no matter their age:
"what's it like to be ____________?" 13? the youngest in your family? in 8th grade? new to school? taking your first exam? getting engaged? Fill-in-the-blank. The question honors who the person is and communicates we want to listen.
pps Haley B. (below) had some great asks, too!
Good for you Tresta, remembering who you were and who your players are in the now. It is stressful to be asked …what are your plans for the future?. They are already stressing over finals, sending applications , ordering graduation announcements, getting senior pictures done, and what kind of dress to look for to go to prom..and on and on.
That was really good.
"I want to be a better advertisement for aging."
Amen to that.
Also, I love that painting!
"...to adults who don't know how to ask something better, like: What are you looking forward to this month? What are you worried about most? What are you passionate about right now, at 18?
Maybe adults don’t know how to let 18 year olds give small, short-term answers. Maybe we project our regrets, throwing back our should-haves onto the shoulders of the haven’t-yets."
<3 Yes.