"It gave me a place to learn what I really thought, and then it made a way for me to change my mind."--That describes me & my writing these last couple of years.
I think, to a certain point, changing your mind is a mark of maturity. Or maybe it's humility, which is really nice to mature with. Either way, I hope my mind is always available for God to change, because I've been pretty wrong about some things!
Two of my favorite "moms down the line" who understand the perverse need to write, even though life is insane and it makes no logistical sense. Love this conversation. I would have framed that letter too. Madeleine L'Engle's Crosswick Journals are some of my favorites, because they make me feel so much less alone in being the way I am.
Tresta, as someone who has been connected online with you for all these blog years since forever ago, you know how much I have relished your words from the beginning. Your kids are right, of course.
The timing of this essay/interview is perfect because of your ask for our thoughts about being a writer and creative; I just listened to Shawn Smucker and his wife Maile's podcast today From last week about the realities of being a published writer versus creativity, primarily through the lens of Shawn's experience not only as an author, but as a bookshop owner as well.
Of course, I was pulling weeds while I was listening, and Shawn's words were echoing in my ears something I'd heard in the morning actually while I was praying...i think it sounded like Jonathan Rogers voice in my head. "Tend the small patch of land that you've been given," or however he framed it.
As someone who has become laser focused about poetry in the last five years, the the pond of publishing opportunity shrinks even smaller. (Altho there are two slim volumes of modern poetry that I've had the privilege to author.) I am OK with that, confident of the fact that only God knows how my words will land at just the right time for just the right person.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am my happiest self when I am making poems. It is apparent that you and Amy share that same joy as it's reflected in your creativity.
Shawn quoted Rick Rubin in his podcast and mentions that when we have an outcome In mind like
becoming published, if that's the only reason we're writing we will be disappointed.
You need to be creating because you can't help not.
PS I do hope you and Aimee can find frames for those homeschool MFAs.
I love all of this. I was blessed to have read L'Engle's Crosswicks journals and Walking on Water when I was a teen. I think because of her I didn't struggle as much with guilt or needing to justify my writing when I was a young mother. Madeleine let me know it was ok. Mrs Murray was an example of a mother who worked, Meg Murray was an example of a mother wrote... because of them I knew that writing was an imperative of my soul and that it needed to have space in my life. I still feel guilty about not being a better homeschooler-- not doing enough planning, not doing enough, period. But I never felt like my writing was in competition (now social media use is another story-- I feel plenty guilty about that).
I started my blog The Wine Dark Sea (now defunct) in 2005 and it folded in 2024-- it had a god long run and I learned so much from writing it. It gave me community and kept me company. I'm so grateful for it.
But I agree that L'Engle having published books gave her a kind of legitimacy in my mind that I longed for and compared myself to. I'm just a blogger, I've never been published, was a thought that haunted me.
What you say about teaching being a justification for days filled with writing and reading resonates. If I'd had a different job would I have been reading and thinking about so many things? Would I have been writing as regularly? The homeschooling life is very nourishing soil to support the life of a writer.
And I love that quote from Leyland Ryken. I'm copying it into my notebook now.
What a gift to have had access to L'Engle as a teenager. I have always struggled with guilt over one silly thing or another, and I think that's probably the biggest thing I've learned to shed as I've aged, though it's still there in places. I have not arrived ; ) But thank God for people like L'Engle who pressed on to share their work with us. The Crosswicks books and Walking on Water have been formative to me as well...time for a reread I think.
Doing anything for a sustained amount of time—blogging for 19 years! and homeschooling your children—is such a faithful work. You are publishing something greater than books. Seriously.
Sadly my copies of those L'Engle books were all lost long ago. I really should get new copies of them all. I suspect I'd get a lot more out of Crosswicks now than I did as a teen, though I loved them then. I agree that I could use a re-read, too.
It's so true that as soon as I think I've trampled out or grown past one silly source of guilt, another one rears its head.
It's lovely to think that something great will one day reveal itself to have been growing. I mean besides my kids who are all awesome. It's still kind of amazing to me that I have a daughter who is almost 19.
It's funny to realize that in letting go of my old blog I have inherited in its place a far more spacious world here on Substack. It had become increasingly hard to write there, and there were fewer and fewer comments and conversations, and finally the cost was too much and I had to let it go, but I was heartbroken. But I'm finding the community here is so much richer and the conversations are so life-giving. My writing life has truly begun to flourish in ways that it had stopped flourishing on the old blog.
I’m sitting here relishing the absolutely solidarity I felt while reading this, as I homeschool my own 5 kids and try to balance, juggle and justify my NEED to write and create.
I love that homeschooling was a reason for you to lean into your creative pursuits and not a reason that you didn’t have time. I’m going to keep that little nugget in my brain. ❤️
Oh, you're in the trenches, Destiny! Hang in there. So much good work is happening in you right now, and none of it is wasted. If you get five minutes to write and create today, I hope it feels like enough ; )
"It gave me a place to learn what I really thought, and then it made a way for me to change my mind."--That describes me & my writing these last couple of years.
I think, to a certain point, changing your mind is a mark of maturity. Or maybe it's humility, which is really nice to mature with. Either way, I hope my mind is always available for God to change, because I've been pretty wrong about some things!
Oh my goodness, absolutely true for my experience as well.
Two of my favorite "moms down the line" who understand the perverse need to write, even though life is insane and it makes no logistical sense. Love this conversation. I would have framed that letter too. Madeleine L'Engle's Crosswick Journals are some of my favorites, because they make me feel so much less alone in being the way I am.
TLPR. Too long please read.
Tresta, as someone who has been connected online with you for all these blog years since forever ago, you know how much I have relished your words from the beginning. Your kids are right, of course.
The timing of this essay/interview is perfect because of your ask for our thoughts about being a writer and creative; I just listened to Shawn Smucker and his wife Maile's podcast today From last week about the realities of being a published writer versus creativity, primarily through the lens of Shawn's experience not only as an author, but as a bookshop owner as well.
Of course, I was pulling weeds while I was listening, and Shawn's words were echoing in my ears something I'd heard in the morning actually while I was praying...i think it sounded like Jonathan Rogers voice in my head. "Tend the small patch of land that you've been given," or however he framed it.
As someone who has become laser focused about poetry in the last five years, the the pond of publishing opportunity shrinks even smaller. (Altho there are two slim volumes of modern poetry that I've had the privilege to author.) I am OK with that, confident of the fact that only God knows how my words will land at just the right time for just the right person.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am my happiest self when I am making poems. It is apparent that you and Amy share that same joy as it's reflected in your creativity.
Shawn quoted Rick Rubin in his podcast and mentions that when we have an outcome In mind like
becoming published, if that's the only reason we're writing we will be disappointed.
You need to be creating because you can't help not.
PS I do hope you and Aimee can find frames for those homeschool MFAs.
I love all of this. I was blessed to have read L'Engle's Crosswicks journals and Walking on Water when I was a teen. I think because of her I didn't struggle as much with guilt or needing to justify my writing when I was a young mother. Madeleine let me know it was ok. Mrs Murray was an example of a mother who worked, Meg Murray was an example of a mother wrote... because of them I knew that writing was an imperative of my soul and that it needed to have space in my life. I still feel guilty about not being a better homeschooler-- not doing enough planning, not doing enough, period. But I never felt like my writing was in competition (now social media use is another story-- I feel plenty guilty about that).
I started my blog The Wine Dark Sea (now defunct) in 2005 and it folded in 2024-- it had a god long run and I learned so much from writing it. It gave me community and kept me company. I'm so grateful for it.
But I agree that L'Engle having published books gave her a kind of legitimacy in my mind that I longed for and compared myself to. I'm just a blogger, I've never been published, was a thought that haunted me.
What you say about teaching being a justification for days filled with writing and reading resonates. If I'd had a different job would I have been reading and thinking about so many things? Would I have been writing as regularly? The homeschooling life is very nourishing soil to support the life of a writer.
And I love that quote from Leyland Ryken. I'm copying it into my notebook now.
What a gift to have had access to L'Engle as a teenager. I have always struggled with guilt over one silly thing or another, and I think that's probably the biggest thing I've learned to shed as I've aged, though it's still there in places. I have not arrived ; ) But thank God for people like L'Engle who pressed on to share their work with us. The Crosswicks books and Walking on Water have been formative to me as well...time for a reread I think.
Doing anything for a sustained amount of time—blogging for 19 years! and homeschooling your children—is such a faithful work. You are publishing something greater than books. Seriously.
Sadly my copies of those L'Engle books were all lost long ago. I really should get new copies of them all. I suspect I'd get a lot more out of Crosswicks now than I did as a teen, though I loved them then. I agree that I could use a re-read, too.
It's so true that as soon as I think I've trampled out or grown past one silly source of guilt, another one rears its head.
It's lovely to think that something great will one day reveal itself to have been growing. I mean besides my kids who are all awesome. It's still kind of amazing to me that I have a daughter who is almost 19.
It's funny to realize that in letting go of my old blog I have inherited in its place a far more spacious world here on Substack. It had become increasingly hard to write there, and there were fewer and fewer comments and conversations, and finally the cost was too much and I had to let it go, but I was heartbroken. But I'm finding the community here is so much richer and the conversations are so life-giving. My writing life has truly begun to flourish in ways that it had stopped flourishing on the old blog.
I’m sitting here relishing the absolutely solidarity I felt while reading this, as I homeschool my own 5 kids and try to balance, juggle and justify my NEED to write and create.
I love that homeschooling was a reason for you to lean into your creative pursuits and not a reason that you didn’t have time. I’m going to keep that little nugget in my brain. ❤️
Oh, you're in the trenches, Destiny! Hang in there. So much good work is happening in you right now, and none of it is wasted. If you get five minutes to write and create today, I hope it feels like enough ; )
Too real about not knowing what an MFA was back then. I, too, have discovered so much about myself and what's out there, since becoming a mother :')