When you forget what God is like

It’s simply the presence of certain people that puts you at ease. It’s the fact that they are there and you know they say the unspoken to God on your behalf. I have those people in my life.

It’s enough for me to know that these people know to pray, whether they know what exactly to ask God for or not. The hands and thoughts and texts of people I love all serve to comfort me even when their actual, physical presence or their real, spoken words are not available.

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When my husband is gone for an extended time he will sometimes send me a picture he knows I'll appreciate - like a wildflower growing crazy out of the rocky ground. No words are necessary. I know he's thinking about me and that's enough.

Why can’t it be so with God, Who puts so many amazing and wild reminders in my path?

Why is it enough to be in the thoughts of those people I love, but not enough to be enumerated in the thoughts of God?

I expect more from God than I do the people in my life, which is right and wrong all at once. It’s confusing, but it’s as if God has to prove Himself to me over and over, whereas the people I love simply need to be.

Be there. Be available. Be supportive. And tell me what you think God means by His silence?

God is nothing less and so much more, and still I desire damp fleeces and voices of angels and concrete examples. I expect Him to constantly renew His commitment to me, like an insecure girlfriend. Remind me again. 

Tozer says that the most important thing about us is what we think about God, so let’s be honest. There are times when I think of God as the pilot of my plane and I hope He’s doing His job well, hope He’s rested and alert and knows where we’re going.

I hope He’ll send a stewardess to announce our destination and the weather, so I can be sure I’m on the right flight and that I’ve packed correctly.

I hope I’ll be able to sit by the right person - someone quiet if I want to read, someone interesting if I want to talk, someone sleepy if I'm sleepy. In My Analogy the pilot chooses my seat neighbors, so I have him to blame for the people who are all wrong at the right time and right at the wrong time. Keep up with my moods, people.

I don’t think right about God most of the time.

His ways are past finding out yet He spurs us to try. I grope about and cling to assumptions about the nature of God, but they change. My ‘knowledge’ of God changes according to my mood and the season and the circumstances and I am so fickle in this pursuit - resting on park benches when I ought to be searching Him out; running after Him when I should be walking in step.

Here’s something I know: He is not annoyed. My attempts and your attempts and all of our flailing about in honest pursuit of Him is not irritating to Him. I need to remember that I know that.

The presence of God is comforting me in those people who are nearby. I know His voice is true to His Word, true to His nature, and true to the work of His Spirit, and I am comforted by flesh and blood people who share His voice with me.

It's the greatness of community and I have to see it as His gift, not His replacement.