Inspiration for My Feeble Heart {Chasing Dreams and Doubts}

He had a dream 2 years ago, a real in-the-night dream and not something he thought up during church. Sometimes you wake in the morning after having lived a whole life in your dreams, and you are just dog-tired. The night passed too quickly and the dream too slowly, and your morning feels like the first day of forever. Like everything in your reality might be a let down after waking.

And was the dream from the Lord?

Was it real and inspired or just the consequences of too much imagination? Too much wishing, and  maybe too much pizza?

He acted on it with faith and obedience, took steps and moved forward, all the while listening for Reality to wake him up if he was wrong.

Because who wants to pour themselves into a dream of your own crazy-making?

feather in the sand

 "And it shall come to pass afterward that I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh;

Your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,

Your old men shall dream dreams,

Your young men shall see visions." ~ Joel 2:28 NKJV

We read of Bible-dreams that seemed obvious and neon and we doubt our own. We doubt what we might have heard on our feather pillows, and the further we get from slumber the more we question ourselves, or God, or whoever.

We want to run to our Eli for answers.

There are dreams that we star in and centerstage is all about us, and we can be pretty sure our own minds inspired those.

There are dreams full of just plain weirdness and nothing makes sense and how'd you even get into Walmart without your pants on in the first place? And you wake up hating Walmart.

But there are other dreams that don't leave you.

glowing farm

hay bales in the morning

He says he's giving it 5 years. To me and my quick-fix, short-term, instant-gratification-loving self, five years is a long time. An endless night living out this dream that still has him doubting now and then.

But he hasn't heard God say no and he hasn't found any reason not to pursue this dream, so he just goes on.  The obstacles make him question and the mistakes are frustrating, but he just goes.

Maybe we get off course and maybe we make up things, but God sees our holy intentions. He sees hearts that are loyal and He says He will strengthen those.

A feeble heart might just need a dream to chase.

I have this friend. She's 67 years old and a widow, and she just had surgery on her broken back. She'll come home from the hospital today to rest and recover, and when she is healed up she'll head back to Africa. She'll probably buy a one-way ticket, probably find a new home for her cat and her furniture, and probably live out a dream that many would shrink back from.

And I wonder what dreams I've given up too easily and too early in the morning? 


Linking up with Grace Laced Mondays, MercyInkThe Wellspring, and  #TellHisStory


Never miss a post! Enter your email address to receive new posts in your inbox: Delivered by FeedBurner


Praying Jesus Into Your 1 a.m. Dreams

Praying Jesus into your dreams It was 1 a.m.

I'm all for cuddling in the daytime but I'm notorious for not being uber-pleasant at 1 a.m. I've never been great about sharing my bed with little people,either.

One of our children had a particular habit of waking each night and toddling her way in to our room, but always to daddy's side of the bed. For good reason.

Daddy's side of the bed was where you found comfort and warm covers. It was daddy who would get up and fill your sippy cup with juice and snuggle you back into bed, careful not to wake mommy.

Daddy was pleasant at 1 a.m.

I was all about habits and routines and not rotting the enamel off our children's teeth. Daddy was all about snuggling you while he still could, day or night.

And now it's rare that someone tries to tiptoe into our bed at night. Most of the feet in this house are too big to sneak in to our room, and the people they carry are no longer little.

There's really just one little left, and he came in at 1 a.m. last Friday night.


He came to my side of the bed, because he's new to this and doesn't realize, or care, about mommy's lack of nurture when woke from dead-drooling sleep. He came to my side in just his race car undies, and once I realized that there was no vomit or urine involved, I held back the covers and let him wrap his skinny-self around me.

Pure. Joy. 

This is not a moment to turn away. This is not time for routine and habit and I don't turn this child away, because he's not forming bad habits - he's learning where to go for comfort.

Comfort from bad dreams and maybe missing memories, or from dreams not yet realized. He was scared and he came with a flashlight, because everyone knows that monsters flee the light.

He came to me, and we went to Jesus.

I prayed a mumbled prayer with a dry mouth and sleep-sealed eyes, but my heart was fully alert.

I prayed Jesus into his dreams. I prayed that my son would fall back to sleep in my arms and dream of Jesus who always rescues and saves, and who is Truth and Comfort.

And then my mind began to wake and I really thought about that, about praying Jesus into my dreams, my sleeping ones and the ones I dream with my eyes open. The dreams I have for my children and my husband, for myself, for everything that's unspoken and scary.

I began to pray Jesus into my dreams, or rather, pray my dreams into Jesus. Not shoving in His name where it seemed appropriate, not tacking on some platitude or holy word, and not handing Him all my plans and expecting His seal of approval. But seriously examining where I spend my mind-time and looking for Jesus there.

Is Jesus in my dreams?

It's the mystery of Psalm 37:4, that God gives us the desire of our hearts. Gives us what we desire, or puts His desires in us? Or both?

Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. - Psa 37:4-5 NKJV

Delight comes first. It shows up several times in that chapter, and maybe that's where my focus ought to be. To delight myself in Him and let the dreams take shape, to commit and trust and He shall. I think He's been saying this over and over to me.

Because if He's not in my dreams, what good are they? 

I'm warming up to 1 a.m. visits.


Linking up with The Better MomGrace Laced MondaysPlaydates with God, The Mom Initiative, Soli Deo Gloria, Titus 2sdays, and #TellHisStory