Fourteen years. Enough time to get a pretty full education. To read lots of books, speak many words, see hundreds of new things. It's the number of years I've been a mother, and it's been the best education I could ever hope for.
The day you came, my firstborn, you were setting your own course. Tackling life on your own terms.
The child-birthing class had shown a video on cesareans, but I didn't pay attention. No worries. A normal pregnancy would equal a normal delivery - as if there were such a thing.
You must have been wrestling to be free. Wriggling and squiggling until that umbilical cord was just a noose around your neck. With every contraction your heart rate plummeted. Mine quickened. The doctor made daddy stay close by, just in case 'a decision had to be made'.
He turned white. Losing control is never comfortable. The doctor quickly changed from relaxing on the chair with a pop in hand and using our first names, to Mr. Business addressing 'the father' and 'the mother'.
Life changes in seconds, Bailey.
I was wheeled away from the place I expected to give birth. To sleep I went, and the first words I said when I awoke?
"Is it a boy or a girl?"
A healthy baby girl. I was not the first, or even the fifth, to see you that day. And by the time they brought you to me I was still so dazed and doped. This was the beginning of something scary-beautiful, and I am so blessed to be part of it. Blessed now to be the first one to see you each morning. Blessed to still receive your kisses, because you're not too old to love your parents or too cool to show it.
The growing up of Bailey.
It started that day, or rather before that day. And sometimes you want to rush through it, struggle to be free and loose the noose, but I hold you back. As if I could stop you from growing up! I just want you to be...fourteen, now. Just enjoy this age, remember? Remember how I told you that when you turned 10?
This is not cliche, Bailey. Listen closely. God has put the whole world before you, placed amazing gifts within you, and caused you to dream big dreams. Go after God, and go hard. Start now - even today, the fourteenth turning of your calendar.
Go to His word:
All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work. - 2Ti 3:16-17 NKJV
Go to His heart:
"The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, Because the LORD has anointed Me To preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;" - Isa 61:1 NKJV
Go to His work:
For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. - Eph 2:10 NKJV
Fourteen is fabulous. Don't wait for something bigger - enjoy this. And I will, too. I love you ; )